Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Does the word Sleestak mean anything to you?
So, I'm mindlessly surfing the net, when somehow I come across a fansite for a long-dead TV show, which stirs up all kinds of weird Saturday morning Nickelodeon memories.
Anyone remember Land of the Lost? Not the original seventies version -- I'm too young to remember that one -- but the nineties revival series? With the dysfunctional family that fell through the road in an earthquake and ended up in a lost world? And the Sleestaks and the creepy wild girl and random dinosaurs, and how it made, like, almost NO SENSE?
Yeah, that show. I loved that show when I was about ten. Because it had dinosaurs, you know. And dinosaurs were magnificently cool. (At the time there was also a book I had reread about a billion times -- along with my Nancy Drew Mysteries and The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle [one of my favorite books when I was young... ah, today is just a day for remembering old stuff] -- called Land of the Lost that was about a boy investigating rumours of dinosaurs still living in the jungles of Africa or some island or something. Then I discovered Jurassic Park and realised how lame children's science fiction can be. But I digress, a lot...)
Anyway, what surprises (or scares) me is not the existence of a website (or two) for this awful yet apparently campy television show (in both of its incarnations), but the existence of a more or less active forum, really frightening fanart, and, of course, the inevitable fanfiction.
Being bored and feeling decidedly silly, I decided to check some of it out. I was delighted and horrified and amused to find that the collection of wonderful and inspiring (I'm sure) stories includes a mind-boggling X-Files/70s Land of the Lost/90s Land of the Lost crossover.
Though the grammar and technical things seem more or less all right, I still think this may be the worst XF crossover ever. Hilarious, but terrible. All I have to say is, "..." The author must have found her way into The Land of the Lost Metaphors That Were Lost for a Very Good Reason:
His black trenchcoat matched his dark hair, but his face lacked sunlight equal to the bland hues of his shirt and tie.
"Me too." Mulder tucked away the photograph. "Six days ago, Kevin Porter left County General without a doctor's discharge. He kidnapped an EMT -- that's a paramedic -- and illegally got a-hold of an assault rifle."
A human figure appeared in the mirror. She wore a blue silk dress, sleeveless and cut in a straight tube that neither revealed nor concealed the feminine elements of her body. Straw blonde hair veiled her torso ending in curls at the waist. The woman was older than twenty and younger than forty
As if drawn by Harold's Purple Crayon the light's outline took shape and solid form to create a translucent teepee of shimmering silver and lavender.
Velociraptors would someday prowl here in packs, hopping over fallen columns and spraying on the cracked fountain like dogs at a fire hydrant.
Quite the image. It doesn't get much better than that.
| 11:21 PM |
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