Sunday, October 19, 2003
The truth is out there
OK, I suppose it's time to reveal what's true and what's false.
1. Three of you voted for this one, but it's true. I received a 2 out of 5 on my Studio Art AP exam. For most schools and most subjects, a 3 is required to earn credit. It was probably the most disappointing grade I ever received, too -- I mean, the 2 on my Calculus exam was to be expected, but art? I blame the graders' subjectivity.
2. Three of you also voted for this one, and you were right. It's not true. I love meat. Always have, always will. I have never contemplated the vegetarian lifestyle.
3. Natasha thought that this might be the lie, but it's true. I was 16, he was my 32-year-old drama teacher. Scandalous. Or not -- it was part of the school production of Oliver!. There weren't many boys in the theatre department anyway, much less ones who wanted to or could carry off the part of Mr. Bumble. In lieu of cancelling the play or finding a different one, my drama teacher decided to take the role himself. (I suspect he was reliving his younger days, when he'd played Mr. Bumble in college. He did mention that he no longer needed padding for the role.) However, I was not originally cast opposite him as Widow Corney. At first I was the milkmaid, and Corney's understudy. Then the girl who was supposed to play Widow Corney ran over her own foot with her car, and I was handed the role. And boy was I excited, too. Then, of course, I realised exactly what it entailed -- lots of innuendo-laden duet singing, hand-holding, dancing, lap-sitting, and a near-kiss with the drama teacher. Needless to say, I was teased mercilessly for the remainder of my high school career.
4. Natasha also wondered about this one, but it's true as well. I worked for a summer as an assistant to an interior decorator. She was an aquaintance and had been hired to do some of the wallpapering and faux finishing in our house, and was interested in having someone like me help out. As her assistant I was basically a glorified wallpaper-scraper and glue girl, but hey, it was OK... till I fell off a ladder and badly twisted my wrist toward the end of the summer -- that kind of put an end to it.
5. No one questioned this one. Indeed, my first piece of fan fiction was based on 1984, and written before I knew what fan fiction was. It was also part of an english exam. We were assigned an essay, and for the life of me I cannot remember what the essay topic actually was, but I took a highly unique approach, responding with a short story about Room 101. I don't remember much of the plot, but I know I placed myself within the room, and had a lot of rather purple description about it (my Room 101 involved sitting in the middle a long, rotting, swinging bridge over a steep chasm, with a high wind). I somehow cleverly escaped too, but that's all I remember. Maybe the essay had something to do with symbolism, or something. I don't know. My teacher was delighted and gave me an A. After this brief and unwitting foray into literary fanfic, though, I moved on to writing bad teen poetry, and unfinished and hugely cliche X-Files shipperfic. Woo.
And now you all know the truth. :)
| 11:13 PM |
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Who am I? I'm a twenty-two-
